Parenting is often painted as the ultimate act of love, a journey filled with joy, fulfilment and purpose. But behind the picture-perfect family portraits are real people grappling with silent battles. For many parents, the sacrifices are steep, the pressures relentless, and the room for honesty almost non-existent.
X站福利所 spoke to five Nigerian parents who share the raw, unfiltered truths about what they resent most about parenthood.
鈥淢y eldest child wants to be child-free. I鈥檓 jealous of his decision.鈥� 鈥� Gabriel*(63), M
Gabriel* envies his child鈥檚 decision to remain child free and wishes he knew he could have made that decision when he was younger.
“I resent almost everything about being a parent, but I didn鈥檛 know it early enough. I thought that it was just one of the things you鈥檙e supposed to do as you grow up. You finish school, you get married, you have kids. I love my wife so much, but our three children put an immense strain on our finances, personal time and priorities.
It doesn鈥檛 help that the new generation of kids is so different. I don鈥檛 understand them at all. My first child, who is in his early thirties now, told me he has no intention of getting married or having children. My wife threw a fit at that, and I supported her. But secretly, I鈥檓 deeply envious of his decision. If I knew it was an option I could take, I would have gotten married but stayed child-free.聽 I keep it to myself because I don’t want anyone to think I don’t love my children, but I would have preferred another lifestyle choice.”
鈥淚 miss the body I used to have.鈥� 鈥� Yanmife*(49), F
Yamnife* loves her children, but she is resentful of the toll her pregnancies took on her body.
“My children are my world, and I love them more than anything, but one thing I resent about being a mum is how much damage my body has taken. I have three children, and each pregnancy was more taxing than the last. After my last baby, the doctor strongly advised against another pregnancy.
Watching my kids grow has been a joy, but sometimes it feels like every time they hit a new milestone, my body declines. I never had teeth issues till after my second baby, now my teeth are loose. After my last delivery, I realised my hips randomly pop out of their sockets if my steps are too wide when I walk. I鈥檓 also tired all the time.
The kids are older now, so it’s a bit easier to keep up with them, but I miss the body I used to have.”
鈥淚 resent how expensive child rearing is.鈥� 鈥� Tola*(34), M
The high cost of raising a child has made Tola* resentful because he wants to give his child the best but he realises he may not be able to afford it.
“From the minute my wife found out she was pregnant with our first child, we haven鈥檛 stopped spending money. My baby is only 10 months old now, and the cost of feeding a newborn is enough to make one panic.
I want to give my child the best, but the reality that I may not be able to afford it has soured some of the joy that fatherhood brought me. The worst part is that I know it鈥檚 only going to get more expensive, especially when we have another child. I鈥檓 just praying that God helps us.”
鈥淪ometimes, I imagine running away from everything.鈥� 鈥� Rolake* (29), F
Rolake* has found balancing parenting and her career to be overwhelming. She hasn鈥檛 had a break in a long time which has made her resentful.
“Trying to balance a career in finance and raising two kids has stretched me to my limit. Sometimes, I imagine running away from everything. I have an overnight bag packed and hidden in our guest room in case I ever decide I鈥檝e had enough.
Not like I want to die or abandon my family, but I haven’t had any 鈥渇ree time鈥� in the last four years. I just want a break from it all. I don鈥檛 think it’s any easier on my husband, but I wish he鈥檇 help out at home a bit more, maybe everything would feel less overwhelming then.”
鈥淚 hate that I have to put myself last every time.鈥� 鈥� Ifeanyi* (40), M
Putting his family first means that Ifeanyi* doesn鈥檛 do nice things for himself anymore. He shares how that makes him feel like no one prioritises his happiness.
“I hate that I have to put myself last whenever it comes to my family. If I didn’t have two kids, my salary would be able to take care of me and my wife very well. But between the cost of feeding, school and extracurricular activities, I can鈥檛 do much for myself or my wife. We鈥檙e just managing month to month. I rarely do or buy nice things for myself because I鈥檓 constantly thinking of how that鈥檒l affect my kids鈥� expenses. A vacation? I haven’t been on one since my honeymoon. I wish I were someone鈥檚 priority, too.”
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