Love Life聽is a X站福利所 weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.
Korede (31) and Susan (26) met on Twitter in 2021, and what started as casual TL banter slowly turned into a whirlwind romance neither of them expected.
On this week鈥檚 Love Life, they talk about saving themselves for marriage, how their very different relationships with money tested their bond, and why they chose to marry quickly before temptation caught up with them.
What鈥檚 your earliest memory of each other?
Korede: My earliest memory of meeting Susan in person was when I first saw her in church in 2021. She was with her sisters and came to say 鈥渉i鈥�. Before that, we were Twitter mutuals and had chatted occasionally. We connected easily online because we realised we attended the same church.
I think I sent her a DM asking if she went to my church, and when she confirmed, I said I鈥檇 see her in church the next day to say hi.
Susan: We still can鈥檛 remember who followed who first on Twitter. But yes, that鈥檚 my earliest memory of Korede too 鈥� the day he finally slid into my DMs.
Right. So, what was the interaction like when you met in person?
Susan: I knew what to expect since we鈥檇 already interacted online. I鈥檇 seen his pictures, knew he was this friendly, jumpy person with lots of energy, and he didn鈥檛 disappoint. He seemed genuinely happy to meet me in person. Even though our conversation was brief, there was a lot of warmth.
Nice. And what happened next?
Susan: We continued talking online.
Korede: Yeah. It wasn鈥檛 a 鈥淥h my God, I need to date this person鈥� situation. We just continued being friends. I鈥檇 been talking to her online, now I鈥檇 seen her in person, and she was just as cool.
Also, we were dating other people then, so we weren鈥檛 even thinking romantically.
At what point did things progress?
Korede: Susan鈥檚 relationship ended in 2022. Mine ended shortly after. Once we were both single, we started seeing each other differently.
Curious. What led to the breakups?
Susan: Mine didn鈥檛 have the potential to grow into anything solid. It was a lot of 鈥渓et鈥檚 see how it goes鈥�, and I don鈥檛 enjoy riding on vibes. But I kept holding on because I didn鈥檛 want to hurt the guy.
I eventually realised it was more selfish to hold on and hurt him later. So I ended it.
Korede: My relationship was actually quite serious. But we had different timelines and wanted different things. She wanted something I couldn鈥檛 give at the time, which caused a lot of friction. So for everyone鈥檚 peace, we ended things. I鈥檇 go into the details, but it was a dramatic breakup, and I don鈥檛 want to revisit what鈥檚 already buried.
Fair enough. Were you both aware of each other鈥檚 single status?
Susan: Korede was still dating, so I didn鈥檛 tell him I broke up with my partner. He found out during a random conversation.
Korede: My relationship ended a few months after hers. Even before it ended, I already knew it was hanging by a thread. I鈥檇 already checked out, so there wasn鈥檛 a big emotional crash when it ended.. Throughout that period, Susan and I remained friends. She knew what was going on. I鈥檇 talk to her about how I was feeling and how I was hurting.
When my relationship ended, I looked at Susan and thought, 鈥淭his girl actually has sense.鈥�
That鈥檚 when our friendship started to shift. I wasn鈥檛 saying, 鈥淟et鈥檚 date,鈥� but the energy changed. I started paying closer attention. I wanted to really know her and see if her sense was 鈥渞elationship sense鈥�. So our conversations became more frequent.
Susan: This phase continued until September 2022, when we officially started dating.
Curious, Susan. Were you in the headspace for another relationship at this point?
Susan: You know what? I wasn鈥檛. After my breakup, I stayed away from relationships. I wanted to focus on making money and personal growth. I had a few talking stages but didn鈥檛 proceed with any; I just didn鈥檛 want to waste my time anymore. If I was going to enter a relationship, it had to be the real deal.
So, at what point did things change?
Korede: I guess I swept her off her feet.
Susan: Please.
But yeah, it鈥檚 hard to say when. I think it happened when our conversations became more frequent. When you keep talking to one person and shut everyone else out鈥� things fall into place. I eventually realised I was always looking forward to talking to him.
Was there anything that made him stand out from the other talking stages?
Susan: I liked that he wasn鈥檛 just a churchgoer but also genuinely invested in his relationship with God. He had sense and knew what he wanted, which I found attractive. He was also funny, warm and super caring. It was just hard not to fall for him.
Right. Talk to me about when things became official.
Korede: September 4th, 2022. I can鈥檛 ever forget.
Susan: He asked me out on a date, and I said yes. I already knew the question was coming, so after church, we went to the beach 鈥� my favourite place in the world 鈥� and he asked.
Korede: You know how people say, 鈥淲hen I met you, I knew I鈥檇 met my wife鈥�? That鈥檚 kind of how it was for me. She had all the qualities I wanted in who I鈥檇 want to marry. She wasn鈥檛 one of those 鈥済ive me money鈥� people. Of course, I spend on her, but she wasn鈥檛 trying to turn me into an ATM without reciprocating.
Also, she鈥檚 very prudent with money. Let鈥檚 say she had 鈧�400k and needed a phone. Instead of saying, 鈥淐an you help me add 鈧�200k to buy a 鈧�600k phone?鈥�, she鈥檇 rather buy a 鈧�200k phone and keep the remaining 鈧�200k in savings. I respected that.
And physically, Susan鈥檚 really pretty and always smiling. I also fell for her because I smile a lot and I鈥檓 fond of cheerful people. When I asked her out, I already knew I wasn鈥檛 just asking her on a date 鈥� I鈥檇 kind of concluded that this relationship would go the distance.
Makes sense. What were the early days of dating like?
Korede: They were sweet. I was constantly posting about us on Twitter. It was the first time I dated someone, and never once thought about breaking up. You know how sometimes you’re in a relationship and wonder if it鈥檚 working? I never had that with her. We talked and laughed a lot. We鈥檇 go out when we could, but it wasn鈥檛 often because it kind of felt like a long-distance relationship; she lived on the outskirts of Lagos. Still, we stayed in touch and enjoyed being in love.
Susan: Butterflies were flying everywhere. They鈥檙e calmer now, but the beginning stage was full of so much excitement. He鈥檇 send voice notes confessing his feelings, which was sweet. We once talked for four hours on the phone, and I鈥檇 never done that with anyone.
Must have been nice. Did you discover anything new about each other?
Korede: One of my biggest discoveries was that the same thing that attracted me to her 鈥� her prudence 鈥� could also be a problem. She鈥檚 very frugal. I could send her 鈧�50k and say, 鈥淕o spoil yourself this weekend,鈥� and find out she locked 鈧�40k away and spent only 鈧�10k. That used to annoy me.
I knew she was used to saving, but it started feeling excessive. Even when I wanted to buy her something nice, she sometimes said, 鈥淛ust send me the money instead.鈥� It made me feel like, what鈥檚 the point?
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Why was this the case for you, Susan? Was it a ripple effect of past experiences?
Susan: Growing up as a girl, I constantly heard, 鈥淎lways have your own money.鈥� I read books, attended seminars, and all of them hammered on savings. I also saw what happened to people who didn鈥檛 have emergency funds, and the idea of not having money when you needed it scared me.
So when I had money to spoil myself, I鈥檇 think, 鈥淭his isn鈥檛 enough for the big luxury I want. Why waste it on small treats?鈥� I don鈥檛 even enjoy food that much, so that kind of 鈥榮poiling鈥� didn鈥檛 appeal to me.
If he wanted to buy me a fancy bag and I already had bags, I鈥檇 be like, 鈥淐an we use the money for something more useful?鈥� He believes in enjoying money when it comes. Me? I鈥檓 already thinking about savings and the future.
Did you guys ever find a resolution?
Susan: We talked, but nothing really changed. Another thing that upset him was that I never asked for money. I just couldn鈥檛. I wasn鈥檛 used to asking anyone for help like that. I鈥檇 rather work and earn my own money. If you gift me something, that鈥檚 fine. But to ask? No.
Korede: It鈥檚 not easy to undo something someone has been used to for years. It was rooted in her upbringing. Imagine having a girlfriend who would rather stress herself finding ways to raise 鈧�20k than just ask you for it. She鈥檇 start calculating: 鈥淚f I remove 鈧�10k from here, add 鈧�5k from there鈥︹��
And then I鈥檇 find out and go, 鈥淚 don鈥檛 get it. It鈥檚 just 鈧�20k. Why didn鈥檛 you ask me?鈥�
I鈥檓 curious, Susan. Was this relationship with money just with Korede?
Susan: I hardly ever ask anyone for money. Most times, people just do things for me. It鈥檚 rare to hear me say, 鈥淧lease, can you send me money?鈥� I prefer working for what I have.
Korede: She eventually came up with the perfect excuse: 鈥淚f I need it, I shouldn鈥檛 have to ask. You鈥檙e supposed to see the need.鈥� So I started sending her money randomly. I stopped waiting for her to ask. That was the temporary fix that helped us coast for a bit.
Right. Let鈥檚 move on. When did you know you鈥檇 fallen in love and wanted marriage?
Susan: There was a day I visited him, and he showed me a book he鈥檇 written over 100 confessions in 鈥� things he wanted to see happen in the lives of his friends, family and future wife. Some had already come true, and he marked them off.
I was shocked. It showed how intentional he was. I also saw how he treated his friends with real care and respect. I thought, if this is how he treats friends, how much more someone he wants to marry?
But I didn鈥檛 rush. I prayed. I asked around about him. Feelings can be blinding, so I wanted to know who he really was. Eventually, everything checked out, and heading towards marriage felt natural.
Korede: I knew I wanted to marry her from the first day we met. I don鈥檛 know how, but I just knew. And we鈥檙e Christians, right? I was madly attracted to her, but I didn鈥檛 want us to cross any lines. So I said, 鈥淟et鈥檚 just marry quickly so we can enjoy each other guilt-free.鈥�
Wait. No intimacy throughout the relationship?
Korede: Not at all. We went out and all, but physical intimacy was off the table. Of course, I wanted to, but I held back. I鈥檇 see her and think, 鈥淕od, I just want to eat this babe.鈥� But I couldn鈥檛.
That鈥檚 why I was pushing for early marriage 鈥� before temptation dragged me by the neck.
Was there any resistance from Susan?
Korede: Yes. She wanted to have serious money before marriage. I kept telling her, 鈥淟et鈥檚 just do this thing. The money will come.鈥�
How did you convince her?
Korede: I don鈥檛 remember what I said exactly. I just knew I wanted to get married early. Maybe that conviction rubbed off on her. We got married on April 25th, 2024.
Sweet. Was marriage any different from dating?
Susan: Yes, it was. We saw each other only once a week and talked mostly online when we were dating. Now that we live together, we see everything 鈥� how I cry when I鈥檓 tired, happy, or overwhelmed.
We also realised we do things differently. We both cook but clash in the kitchen, so now we just take turns.
And it鈥檚 different when we fight, too. Before, I could end a call or ignore messages. But now, we鈥檙e in the same space and he wants to talk it out, while I just want time alone. This took some getting used to. I鈥檇 say sorry after an argument and move on, but he鈥檇 want to break it down and analyse what happened so we could avoid it in the future.
Korede: It used to annoy me a lot. She wanted me to argue and still be soft at the same time. She expected me to say, 鈥淚鈥檓 angry but I still love you, babe.鈥� And I鈥檓 like, 鈥淚鈥檓 not a robot. I have feelings too.鈥� She used to think saying 鈥渟orry鈥� was enough. But I鈥檓 like, 鈥淣o, let鈥檚 talk about what upset me and how we can handle it better next time.鈥�
That was a big one for us.
Susan: There are times I鈥檇 cry during an argument and try to explain myself, and he鈥檇 be so uncomfortable. I鈥檇 have to tell him, 鈥淚gnore the tears, just listen to what I鈥檓 saying.鈥�
How do you handle the tears, Korede?
Korede: I鈥檝e had to learn that her crying means different things. Sometimes it means I鈥檝e said something hurtful; other times it鈥檚 just how she processes her emotions. I had to learn how to tell the difference and respond accordingly. Sometimes I鈥檇 just calm down and say, 鈥淥kay, I鈥檓 sorry.鈥� Other times, I鈥檇 finish my thoughts regardless of her tears, then give her space.
Susan: He also does a lot of reflecting. Sometimes he鈥檒l call me and say, 鈥淭hat thing you mentioned. 鈥淚鈥檓 working on it. It won鈥檛 change overnight, but I鈥檓 trying.鈥� That helps me stay calm.
Korede: I try not to repeat the same mistakes. I work on myself and adjust where I can.
Nice. Has the money issue resurfaced in your marriage, and how have you navigated it?
Korede: One of the things I did early on 鈥� maybe not the textbook way to do it 鈥� was to stop 鈥渟ending鈥� her money. I just told her, 鈥淚f you need money, here鈥檚 my account. Transfer it yourself.鈥� She has access to my phone, passwords, and everything else. I wanted her to feel like she didn鈥檛 have to ask. It made her comfortable with the idea that the money was ours.
Susan: It was hard at first. He鈥檇 notice I hadn鈥檛 sent anything to myself in a while and still go ahead and send me money, even after saying he wouldn鈥檛. He鈥檇 hand me his phone and say, 鈥淭ake whatever you need.鈥� Even now, I often feel guilty sending large sums. I prefer withdrawing in small batches of 鈧�50k. I think the highest I鈥檝e transferred to myself is 鈧�200k.
At once?
Susan: Yes. I鈥檓 still learning to be okay with it, but that method really helped. He was trying to help me get over the mindset that I needed permission to access money meant for both of us. So he never answered when I asked, 鈥淗ow much should I take?鈥� He just wanted me to get comfortable using what we had together.
Curious, Susan. How do you manage finances at home, considering you鈥檙e naturally a saver?
Susan: It鈥檚 still a work in progress. I鈥檓 still trying to reduce his meat portions sometimes.
Korede: God, abeg.
Susan: But seriously, I鈥檝e learnt that some things must be spent on. You can鈥檛 save everything. He鈥檚 helped me see the value in enjoying life too, not just saving for the rainy day.
For example, my husband likes big chicken. So I make sure we have that, even if prices have skyrocketed. We try not to overspend, but we鈥檙e also not suffering. He鈥檚 a careful spender, so I trust him with money. I just focus on making sure the house has what it needs.
Makes sense. Have guys had a major fight or disagreement yet?
Susan: Not really.
Korede: Even when we argue, we don鈥檛 go our separate ways to cool off. I prefer to talk things out immediately.
Susan: However, he once called me 鈥渦ngrateful.鈥� That one cut deep. I don鈥檛 remember what caused the fight, but it had something to do with money. He鈥檇 been doing something for me financially, and I said or did something that made him feel like I didn鈥檛 appreciate it.
Korede: I didn鈥檛 mean it harshly. I just felt like she didn鈥檛 realise I was doing these things from a place of love, and it hurt. I used that word, and I think it really triggered her.
Susan: I didn鈥檛 talk to him for two days. That word? It shocked me. I鈥檓 the kind of person who says thank you constantly 鈥� he even teases me for overdoing it. So hearing 鈥渦ngrateful鈥� from him felt like an attack. And it鈥檚 not even like I asked for anything 鈥� he was doing it on his own. Then for him to turn around and say that? I was hurt. = I never thought of leaving the relationship.
Korede: Same here. I鈥檝e never questioned our relationship. When we fight, I know it鈥檚 something we鈥檒l sort out. We might not talk for a bit, but I鈥檓 never thinking, 鈥淒id I make the wrong decision?鈥�
How did you guys resolve this, and has that shaped how you communicate your issues?
Korede: I鈥檝e realised she has a separate dictionary in her head during our arguments. I might say something like, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e ungrateful,鈥� and in my mind, it鈥檚 just how I felt, not necessarily an insult. But she hears something completely different. So now, I鈥檓 more careful with my words. Instead of saying, 鈥淵ou鈥檙e ungrateful,鈥� I鈥檒l say, 鈥淚 feel like you didn鈥檛 appreciate what I did.鈥� That way, I鈥檓 not using heavy words that trigger unnecessary reactions.
Susan: Yeah. That sums it all up.
How has being with each other changed you as individuals?
Susan: I鈥檓 still smart and reasonable, but I鈥檓 not who I was. The quality of my life has gone up. I used to just say what someone did to hurt me and move on, whether they apologised or not. Now, I sit with my uncomfortable feelings and try to process them instead of shutting down.
Is that just with him or in your other relationships, too?
Susan: Mostly him, but it鈥檚 spilled into other personal relationships.
Korede: Being with Susan has helped me understand women better. I used to think she wouldn鈥檛 care about gifts or gestures because she prioritised saving, but she did. I鈥檝e realised that even when women say they don鈥檛 mind, thoughtful gestures still matter. For example, last Christmas, she wanted a photoshoot. I said we had bills, and she was hurt. I didn鈥檛 get it then, but I do now.
My communication has also improved. I prefer in-person interactions鈥攈anging out physically, gisting face-to-face. But she鈥檚 pushed me to be better. Now, when the phone rings, I don鈥檛 ignore it. I鈥檓 slowly getting better at it. However, this doesn鈥檛 extend to Susan. She has my attention all the time.
Right. How would you rate your love life on a scale of 1-10 ?
Susan: A 10. I usually wake before him and lie there staring at him while he sleeps. I鈥檓 content. What people see outside is sweet, but what we have privately is even sweeter.聽
Korede: I鈥檒l say 9 out of 10. We鈥檝e only done a year. We still have decades to grow, learn, and evolve together. When we鈥檙e 80 and we鈥檝e weathered everything life has to offer, maybe I鈥檒l say 10.
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