Flirting is a delicate art, but some of you are out here drawing rubbish. If you鈥檝e ever been blocked or aired like a uniform hastily washed on Monday morning, you鈥檙e probably guilty of one of these flirting crimes, and we know how to help you do better.
1. Calling them “big head” too early
Josh2funny, relax. You haven鈥檛 even secured a talking stage, and you鈥檙e already body-shaming their skull? Respect yourself.
What you should do:
It takes time to build the camaraderie for roasting each other playfully, there鈥檚 no need to rush. Take your time to develop that bond. Besides, if they鈥檙e the sensitive type, you鈥檝e just shot your chances in the foot.
2. Typos and puzzling abbreviations
Imagine shooting your shot and missing because of a typo. Brethren, Grammarly is free.
Also, dropping random abbreviations can and will turn off the most receptive partner. *Wani鈥檚, 27, shares an example of a message she got in her DMs: 鈥淗ello dear, what’s up with you? Was wondering if you鈥檇 like to grab drinks sometime. LMKWYD.鈥� This long-winded abbreviation meant: 鈥淟et me know when you decide.鈥�
What you should do:
Stick to the popular abbreviations to avoid confusing the potential love of your life.
3. Asking 鈥淲hen will you cook for me?鈥�
You鈥檝e barely exchanged two texts, and you鈥檙e already demanding domestic labour? Is this flirting or charity?
What you should do:
Download a food delivery app or cook your own meal like a normal person, so your crush has a chance of moving from WhatsApp to real life. Invite them out if you want to see them but asking questions that sound like hard labour doesn鈥檛 inspire passion.
4. Overusing 鈥淟OL鈥� and 鈥淟MAO鈥� instead of having a real conversation
Saying 鈥淟MAO鈥� or 鈥淟OL鈥� to everything is NOT flirting. Imagine if you were having a conversation in person and burst into hysterical laughter after every single sentence. It would be awkward and unnatural, right? The same principle applies online.
What you should do:
Learn to be a better conversationalist and ask questions that鈥檒l actually help you get to know them better. Ask about their hobbies, their favourite movie or, their most listened-to playlist. Leave the laughter for the jokes.
5. Bringing up marriage too soon
You just said hello, and now you鈥檙e asking about bride price? I know the characters in the YouTube movies pull it off well but please, let鈥檚 get to know each other first.
What you should do:
There are better jokes to tell if you must flirt. Please ask about their hobbies or future goals before bringing up marriage.
6. Liking all their old pictures at once
A subtle like on a 2024 pic? Cute. Liking every photo they posted on Instagram in 2015? Now they think you鈥檙e about to kidnap them.
What you should do:
While it鈥檚 cute to let them know you鈥檙e prowling their social media, please let鈥檚 keep it demure. Anything more than two years ago? Leave it alone!
7. Oversharing your entire life鈥檚 story in one text
They asked 鈥淪o, what鈥檚 something interesting about you?鈥�, and you responded with 鈥淲ell, in 2017, I lost my job, my ex left me, and now I鈥檓 healing.鈥� Biko, relax.
What you should do:
Leave out the intimate details until a mutual ease has been established. It’s easy to trauma bond with people so it’s best to keep some secrets to yourself at that undecided talking stage.
8. Saying 鈥淚 can鈥檛 believe someone like you is single鈥�
They鈥檝e been single and happy, minding their business, and here you come with an existential crisis. Why can鈥檛 you believe it? Do you know their life?
What you should do:
Compliment the parts of their personality that delight you and keep it moving. “Compliments” like that can come off as an attack on their self-confidence, which is the opposite of what your intentions are with them.
If you see yourself in any of these, it鈥檚 time for a rebrand. Flirting is about confidence, timing, and common sense 鈥� not strange abbreviations and unsolicited roasts. So go forth and flirt wisely before someone screenshots your DMs for their group chat鈥檚 entertainment.
Now, which one are you guilty of? Be honest.
