Being a Nigerian has always come with its fair share of unique troubles, but nothing too complicated for the resilient to overcome. However, with the country experiencing what many have described as its y yet, even the most resilient Nigerians are at their wits鈥� end.
Alero, a baker and single mother of two children, is one of those Nigerians. In this story, she shares how taking on the responsibility of laying her parents to rest forced her to make a financial decision that almost altered the lives of her children and how she can no longer afford to give them the life she used to.
This is Alero鈥檚 story, as told to Margaret
I’m a single mom of two kids and a baker. Being a single mom has been mentally, emotionally and financially challenging. There’s a certain stigma that comes with my status. People assume that you are a product of the bad choices you made.
It takes two people to stay in a marriage, but somehow, only one person takes the fall. Suddenly, you find yourself trying to prove a point to people who won’t care if you stop breathing. And the financial burden of trying to be the best you can be for your children doesn’t help either. Yet, you must show up daily regardless of how you feel.
Things were fairly manageable until my parents passed on, and they took a turn for the worse. I am my parents鈥� only surviving child, so this meant I had to foot the bills for the burial. There were so many demands to meet and so many bills to pay. I started cutting costs at home at some point, but that still wasn鈥檛 enough. When the bills started getting too much, I decided to withdraw my children from school.
My eldest was already a teenager then, so we found ourselves in that situation. Before taking the step, I spoke to someone who told me that I could take him somewhere to become a mechanic’s apprentice. I thought about it for two days, but I felt the urge to rant to someone before taking him there. I was tired of suffering and smiling, so I posted on X about considering withdrawing my kids from school for at least one year.
Acknowledging you can no longer afford to give your children something that is vital to them is the nightmare of any single parent, and I am living mine.
The financial burden has always been heavy, but has worsened over the last two years. Before 2023, I could afford things like fruits without batting an eyelid, but now, I can barely afford them. It also doesn’t help that my income hasn’t increased since then. Now, I can barely keep up with my daily expenses. As of 2022, I could feed a family of six up to three times with 鈧�10,000 daily. Fast forward to 2023, that same amount could barely feed us for two days.
My family has now reduced to just four people, but I still need way more than 鈧�10,000 to feed them daily. We no longer turn on our generator, nor do we use our air conditioner or television. We only turn on our fan and freezer, while everybody makes do by watching whatever they want on their phone.
I stay up at night trying to figure out how to make more money. I have tried different ways to increase my income, but it’s still insufficient. There’s no way to sugarcoat it because things have gotten bad so quickly, and it has significantly impacted my family. I used to feed my children fruits before to help their bodies get the nutrients they need, but I can’t do that anymore because fruits are expensive. We can eat solid food or fruits, but not both simultaneously.
My children are getting older and need personal space, but I can’t afford to move the family into a bigger apartment. We manage what we have now and try to fit into our small apartment. Even our healthcare costs have become outrageous. Before, I could take them to the hospital for a general body checkup, which would cost 鈧�50,000, but now, the same services cost over 鈧�100,000. This has pushed us to try alternative medicines. For example, if my children have a cold, we use Coca-Cola and a lemon to treat it rather than the flu pills we鈥檇 usually buy.
It鈥檚 been hell, but I’m grateful for the blessings we have. After I made the tweet I mentioned earlier, some kind Nigerians crowdfunded and raised enough money to cover the cost of my children’s education for at least one year. It was such an unexpected blessing, and I still appreciate it. I was so relieved because it meant an entire year of not worrying about where my children鈥檚 school fees would come from. Speaking out about my struggles helped me, and I want to encourage other parents who are in similar situations to do the same. A closed mouth is a closed destiny.
I was dying inside, but I wanted to shoulder my responsibilities alone and smile through them. It might sound brave, but that doesn’t help anybody. Get help however you can and try to cut costs in the best ways possible. If you can’t afford the private schools, you can move your children to public schools. If you can no longer afford new shoes, buy thrifted shoes for them. The biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that my children need a healthy mother, and I have to manage whatever pressure life throws at me for their sake.
I try to be optimistic, but the future still looks bleak for people like me, and it’s overwhelming. I wish I could say something positive about the future, but right now, I only have faith that things will improve. My baking business will become more profitable, and I’ll be able to give my children a good life.
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